For all the attention they direct below the belt, most men
actually know very little about their penises. Here's the knowledge you
need to keep yours healthy, strong, and ready for action, for life.
Fact #1: Smoking can shorten your penis by
as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and
lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So
even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young,
spare the little guy.
Fact #2: Doctors can now grow skin for burn
victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can
produce 23,000 square meters, which would be enough to tarp every Major
League infield with human flesh.
Fact #3: An enlarged prostate gland can
cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you have
an unexplained case of either, your doctor's looking forward to checking
your prostate. Even if you're not.
Fact #4: The average male orgasm lasts 6
seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women were really
interested in equality, they'd make sure we have four orgasms for every
one of theirs.
Fact #5: The oldest known species with a
penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos.
That's Greek for "amazing swimmer with large penis." Which officially
supplants Buck Naked as the best porn name, ever.
Fact #6: Circumcised foreskin can be
reconstructed. Movable skin on the shaft of the penis is pulled toward
the tip and set in place with tape. Later, doctors apply plastic rings,
caps, and weights. Years can pass until complete coverage is attained.
Fact #7: Only one man in 400 is flexible
enough to give himself oral pleasure. It's estimated, however, that all
400 have given it their best shot at some point.
Fact #8: There are two types of penises.
One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other
appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after
achieving erection (a shower).
Fact #9: An international Men's Health survey reports that 79 percent of men have growers, 21 percent have showers.
Fact #10: German researchers say the
average intercourse lasts 2 minutes, 50 seconds, yet women perceive it
as lasting 5 minutes, 30 seconds.
Fact #11: Turns out size does matter: The
longer your penis, the better "semen displacement" you'll achieve when
having sex with a woman flush with competing sperm. That's according to
researchers at the State University of New York, who used artificial
phalluses (ahem) to test the "scooping" mechanism of the penis's coronal
ridge.
Fact #12: The penis that's been enjoyed by
the most women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga, who supposedly
deflowered 37,800 women between the years 1770 and 1784-that's about
seven virgins a day.
Fact #13: Better-looking men may have
stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had
good, average, and lousy sperm-and told them to pick the handsomest men.
The women chose the best sperm producers most often.
Fact #14: No brain is necessary for
ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living
vessel for said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought
and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.
Fact #15: The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just not worth taking.
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